My Love, my love for you has grown,
aaaaawill grow
But how and why do I lie for you
aaaaahere and now
With the thorn of your absence pressed
aaaaato my side
Once when the sunlight flooded the blinds
aaaaaI cried
aaaaaat your face
You stepped away, you ran your hands
aaaaaover that place
aaaaaand left them there
I reached for your fingers and plied
aaaaathem away
You closed your eyes before I was done
aaaaalike a guard from my expression
I kissed your lashes, they fluttered
aaaaaat bay
You held me to your breast
Then left on your quest to run from yourself
But I never saw the scar that you feared
I cried at the beauty of the man that I love.
Deep. Sad. Passionate. All love seems so blind.
Isn’t that true? Love does something to our eyes
Yes, for better or for worse.
the diction was kind of rough, but this poem paints a deep picture of a love that is leaving. Guys that are not at peace with themselves often resort to hurting others by leaving. I like this one.
Thanks Joe, I appreciate your comment. I agree, the diction is somewhat rough. I have had such a crazy past couple months that I haven’t written much poetry so I just wrote this one to get myself back in it and didn’t take much time to edit before posting because I just wanted to get something up. And I wrote this for exactly the reason that you stated. Thank you for your feedback!
Hey i defintely understand having a hectic life. I know its hard to find time to write…but i really like your poetry because it is really easy to connect with…you one of the few people online that I take the time to try to offer contructive criticism.
Keep writing ๐
Have you ever saw this site, http://www.pw.org it has a list of small publishers that you should check out. ๐
-joe
I’m sorry you’ve had a rough couple of months ๐ฆ
I really like the last two lines, they’re full of emotion.
Even though you’ve been out for a whille your writing is still great!
best regards…
what a heartfelt piece, masterful job.
Greetings, how are you? Your absence is missed, I wish you well!
Hope to see you in Poets Rally Week 38,
Love your poetry talent and looking forward to a profound experience with your input.
Cheers.
xoxox
love your blog, your poetry is impressive!
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Wow — I feel the strong emotions in this piece — thank you for sharing this part of your life. I like the choppy feel with the long & short lines interspersed — it lends verisimilitude to the emotions in the poem.