Poetry of the Soul

Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. ~Thomas Gray

Empty November 17, 2010

Filed under: poetry — laurenmichelleotheim @ 10:59 pm

I feel empty. Shell shocked.
I am making myself move my fingers to type these words
Forcing them to go through the motions
Hoping motion will create meaning.
I thought this would be worse
The moment when I realized that I would have to let you go.
I thought I would cry large elephant tears that would slide slowly down my face until they turned into a torrent.
I thought they would fall faster and faster until everything beyond the iron wall of emotion was scarred and blurred into submission. Then I would no longer see the things around me that gave life meaning and I could weep until I felt worn out, beaten to sleep by tears.
Instead I sit here.
Staring at the wall.
I did not need to be blinded from significance.
It simply lost its meaning.
I feel as if a giant hand reached inside my body and hollowed me out and I contemplate stepping in to my stomach, right foot first, and pulling myself in inch by inch. Press me flat and roll me in to a ball so I can be stood by the door like a sleeping bag. I will collect dust there.
This emotional genocide was not an individual dying off of each part. I did not have time to say goodbye to each mechanism as it withered.
It was an atom bomb. A sudden explosion that decimated what feelings I had left and created an utter waste land. There is nothing left to see, so I no longer do.
I wonder what a breeze feels like in the barest sense of the word. I wonder in the pitted shadow of discussion. It is a question posed for the world in words only, swept away if it ever did come up.
I silently wish for the torrent that would grant rest and refresh.

(c) Lauren Otheim – 2010
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12 Responses to “Empty”

  1. brian Says:

    you know…i get this cause there are days i feel empty as well…i like how you describe it….

  2. barrycyrus Says:

    Aww, I hope you’ll eventually help yourself out. God bless đŸ™‚

  3. I did not need to be blinded from significance.
    It simply lost its meaning.

    I love these two lines. Extremely beautiful piece. Keep up the good work!

  4. Curtis Says:

    Don’t be empty anymore! I can almost feel the torment in your words and the sheer emotional impact.

  5. Jingle Says:

    brilliant piece…
    Glad to read you by the end of the year, hope all is well..

    I invite you to attend poets rally week 35, where you share your poetry and make new poetic friends…poetry awards are assigned upon completion.

    let me know when you are ready.
    Merry Christmas…
    Stay Blessed….

    • Thank you Jingle for always being so involved! You are always so wonderfully encouraging to everyone! I have been having such a crazy year with my most stressful semester of college yet, and the last few weeks were exceptional hectic as I got a concussion and was not allowed to do anything (including watch tv). I finally returned to normal in time for finals. I am hoping now to be much more free to write blog posts and rebuild my blog community.

  6. frayedges Says:

    I hope the emptiness is fading and that you have gotten the rest and refreshment you want.

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