Poetry of the Soul

Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. ~Thomas Gray

One more step June 2, 2010

Filed under: poetry — laurenmichelleotheim @ 4:40 pm

“How about that,”
she said staring at the wall
“One more step
(count them all)
in the wrong direction.”
And then she left
one hand on her hat.

He stood still
looking at the blank doorway
where she had stood,
(nothing he could say).
Just one more step
in the wrong direction
and a hole he couldn’t fill.

“So,” she thought
park bench hard beneath her,
“he won’t come looking
for me, that’s for sure.”
It’s just one more step
in the wrong direction
that she couldn’t have fought.

He grabbed his jacket
off the wall and walked outside
he held the coat above her
so that she could hide
from the rain pouring from the sky.
Then he sat and held her
and they rocked from side to side.

(c) Lauren Otheim – 2010
Protected by Copyscape Plagiarism Check Software

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46 Responses to “One more step”

  1. waystationone Says:

    love the image you leave us with…them on the park bench…rocking….rock on!

  2. suzicate Says:

    Just one more step
    in the wrong direction
    and hole he couldn’t fill. – I was starting to get sad and then – Then he sat and held her
    and they rocked from side to side. – you brought back hope, beautiful.

  3. Joe Suzz Says:

    i really liked how this one ended. it was adorable. it was vivid and realistic at the same time.
    have fun at the rally,
    joe

  4. trisha Says:

    What a cute ending 🙂

    a very lovely piece.

  5. fiveloaf Says:

    lovely writing

  6. wordwand Says:

    a lovely poem, the ending is impressive.well done .

  7. Jingle Says:

    this one has different styles, but very beautifully written..
    thank you for the unique contribution!
    cheers!
    😉

  8. soulintention: signed .............bkm Says:

    how nice with such a happy ending……my kind of poetry,,,,,gives me a good feeling……. makes me want to cry with happines…….blessings….bkm

  9. broken sally Says:

    I want for what she got!

  10. mairmusic Says:

    Nicely written, Lauren! Thanks for stopping by my page last week. My poem is up now, and I nominated you for “perfect” this week. Congrats on your work!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

  11. almondjoycie Says:

    Now here’s a compliment. I got images of Suzanne Vega from your poetry.

  12. heartspell Says:

    The end is so hopeful… I loved this. Heartspell

  13. April Says:

    Beautiful writing! Glad to make your acquaintance via my blog and your kind commentary! =) Wonderfully woven words with a lovely end! Great work!

  14. Kelsey Says:

    Hooray for happy endings! Love it.

  15. I loved the conflict going on in it, and to top it off a happy ending. Great!!!

  16. Steve E Says:

    Sure felt the sadness…then the rain–wet, wet. And their realization that two can live more dry than one…rocking on the park bench.

    Thank you!

  17. makes me think that maybe he has has taken one step in the right direction in the end…so poignant

  18. Artswebshow Says:

    Awesome poem.
    You never dissapoint

  19. dustus Says:

    You weave a wonderful tapestry of thought, images, and optimism. Thank you. Great poem

  20. what a lovely poem indeed! “he sat and held her…” that almost made me cry. we all need that kind of assurance sometimes.

  21. theonlycin Says:

    Lovely writing.
    (And you’re the first blogger I’ve come across with the same theme as me *smile*)

  22. brokensally Says:

    Still like the poem. Reminds me of the movie he’s just not that into you.

  23. I was expecting a different end to it…Nice work. Cheers friend.

  24. Love the imagery and the change at the end! I’ve already read this poem about a hundred time! Great writing!


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